#my funeral...my trial

[diceriadelluntore]

Storia Di Musica #357 - Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, Your Funeral...My Trial, 1986

C'è un sentimento comune nei dischi che hanno a che fare con Berlino: sono dischi che esprimono dei tormenti umani giganteschi, registrati dagli artisti in momenti cruciali della loro vita, spesso non solo artistica. Bowie quando decise di andare a Berlino per la sua trilogia (che per senso filologico dovrebbe essere una tetralogia, dato che fu il creatore anche di The Idiot di Iggy Pop) era nel pieno di una crisi creativa, di una dipendenza da droghe, autore di gaffe clamorose (una terribile in cui disse in una intervista: "In Inghilterra sarei potuto diventare Hitler. Non sarebbe stato difficile. I concerti erano così spaventosi che persino i giornali scrivevano: “Questa non è musica rock, questo è Hitler! Bisogna fare qualcosa!”. E avevano ragione. Era fantastico. In realtà… credo che sarei stato un gran bell��Hitler").

Una cosa simile avvenne dieci anni più tardi a Nick Cave. Conclusa l'esperienza con i Birthday Party nell'estate del 1983, decide di continuare la carriera come solista. Va per questo a Berlino, un posto che, nelle parole dello stesso Cave "ci ha dato la libertà e l'incoraggiamento per fare qualsiasi cosa avessimo voluto fare". Con lui ci sono Mick Harvey, batterista dei Birthday Party, con cui forma i Bad Seeds, sorta di supergruppo comprendente Barry Adamson dai Magazine al basso e Blixa Bargeld dei berlinesi Einstürzende Neubauten. Il primo disco però è ancora registrato a Londra, From Here To Eternity, con ricordi blues stralunati dalla slide di Bargeld, con due cover bellissime di In The Ghetto di Elvis Presley e Avalanche di Leonard Cohen. Nasce qui il suo mito: la sua voce teatrale, cavernosa, inquietante, che racconta di incubi, personaggi strani, ossessioni e dolore. In quello stesso periodo, vive un rapporto devastante con l'eroina: nonostante questo, pubblica The Firstborn Is Dead a Berlino, nei mitici Hansa Tonstudios usati dallo stesso Bowie. Il titolo è un riferimento al gemello di Elvis nato morto insieme a lui, c'è ancora il lato tragico del Blues e una cover di Dylan, Wanted Man, corretta nel testo con l'approvazione del Maestro di Duluth. Per Kicking Against The Pricks (1986), che è una raccolta di interpretazione di cover, entra in gruppo Thomas Wydler, batterista, che permette a Harvey di passare alle tastiere.

Le registrazioni di Your Funeral...My Trial avvengono nell'estate del 1986 presso gli Hansa Tonstudios. Cave è al massimo della disperazione fisica e mentale, l'idea iniziale era di fare due EP con i due titoli My Funeral e My Trial, ma nonostante la gravità della sua condizione psicofisica, alla fine le registrazioni furono entusiasmanti, tanto che tutti considerano questo il loro miglior disco della loro futura ultra-trentennale carriera. È un disco dove i racconti e le storie sono pieni di controcanti, di voci della mente e dei sentimenti che si rincorrono. Quasi tutto è opera di Cave e Harvey, l'unica cover è una versione acuta e sorprendentemente drammatica di Long Time Man di Tim Rose. È il disco notevolmente più compiuto e vario rispetto ai precedenti, che esplora un'ampia gamma di musiche pur mantenendo centrale la visione spesso oscura e sempre appassionata di Cave. Canzoni come Jack's Shadow, una delle future canzoni simbolo, e gli stati d'animo più gentili ma comunque malinconici di Sad Waters, che raccontano una scena in riva al fiume tra una coppia, sono semplicemente grandiose: Cave qui non solo canta ma suona anche l'organo Hammond, aggiungendo un'aria stranamente dolce all'atmosfera notturna del pezzo. The Carny è sicuramente il momento clou, l'accompagnamento di carillon/carnevale incrinato per gentile concessione di Harvey è del tutto appropriato per il racconto di Cave di un circo andato orribilmente male: da questa canzone Marc Craste nel 2003 ricaverà un cortometraggio animato, Jo Jo In The Stars, che vincerà il BAFTA Award for Best Animated Short Film nel 2004. Hard On For Love, come il titolo rivela abbastanza chiaramente, è allo stesso tempo sensuale e schietta fino al testo, riferimenti biblici e tutto il resto, mentre la musica febbrile sale in un'ondata di emozioni. Stranger Than Kindness è scritta da Bargeld e da Anita Lane, cantautrice australiana che da qui in poi collaborerà con i Bad Seeds.

Una versione di The Carny verrà suonata nel film Il Cielo Sopra Berlino di Wim Wenders, dove Cave e i Bad Seeds interpretano loro stessi suonando dal vivo. Cave, la cui carriera verrà segnata da traumi colossali, ha sempre amato questo disco, secondo le sue stesse parole "è molto speciale per me e sono successe un sacco di cose fantastiche, musicalmente, in studio. Ci sono alcune canzoni in quel disco che per quanto mi riguarda sono quasi perfette": una perfetta descrizione di un incubo.

[7cfc00]

home is where the heart is (and yours is gone)

[jt1674]

[strixessabre]

Updated my Nick Cave tray and added some buttons to sweeten the deal! I might do this with a few other trays I have! This is limited to one! Go snag it!

Also I love Nick's hair in this era, the greasy yet so fashionable mullet~

( Strixes' Sabre )

[trademarkdraws]

ok osososososo slime w vitilego? may pee <|:•) outside of slime more too but i havent drawn that yet

[manitat]

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Stranger Than Kindness

[cherries-or-peaches]

15, 19, 26 for the music ask game :D

wassup mackaroni!! (sorry i had mac and cheese for lunch today)

15. what is one band/artist you listen to and everybody knows you listen to them but no one would expect them to have THAT genre?

This one was kinda hard. I’ve had some people be surprised when they check out Suicide after i recommended some of their music because they were expecting some sort of metal music i think and not like synth music. I also had irl people guess that The Birthday Party were new wave (now in their defense i kinda guessed that two before i checked them out.)

19.what is your favorite album art from one of your favorite artists?

I’ve always thought The Birthday Party had some pretty cool album covers (i kinda cheated and also put Crime & the City Solution, they’re related enough)

Hee-Haw (technically not the original album cover but it looks cooler than the original tbh), Junkyard, Live 81-82, and Room of Lights

26.show me two songs with the same title!!! same genre?? different genre??

Time by Richard Hell and the Voidoids and Time by Blind Melon. One is punk, one is just alt rock. They’re both one of my favourite songs by each bands lol

[pisquareseven]

[antiticketmaster]

.

[circeyoru]

Future Power Couple = Requested

The Request

[Sung Jinwoo x S-Rank Player!Reader]

! ALERT

- A new Player has joined the System.

That was months ago. You have received noticed on how well this new Player did from time to time, sounded like the System was mighty happy with this Player’s progress. Well, it wasn’t like you could do anything when you knew this person was in the same situation as yourself. While it was good that the System helped you level up to be the strongest S-Rank Hunter, you were sort of a test run for the real Player. You didn’t like being used as a trial run. 

You returned back to Korea after your exchange a bit too late. By the time you returned, the Jeju Raid ended in success with a major lost. Had you known he joined the raid, you would have joined too. Min Byung-Gyu and you were close but different, while he was the only Healer class S-Rank, you were his opposite as you were the only Assassin class S-Rank in Korea. Still, the uniqueness of your singular class among the fighter and mage class made the two of you bond like siblings with him being the other one.

So, without question, you attended his funeral. That’s when you caught a glimpse of the new S-Rank Hunter the Chairman was talking about. Sung Jinwoo, a mage class, former E-Rank and the Weakest Hunter of All Mankind. It was clear as day that he was the new Player the System noticed you all those months ago, and continuously praised. But that was all that happened, you didn’t stray away from the main objective that day and it was to honour your brother-like friend’s sacrifice and work.

“Can you join Hunter Sung to deal with a gate that appeared in the middle of the road?”

“Ha?” You side eyed the phone next to your ear. Just your luck that you were immediately given a dungeon to clear, and with Jinwoo no less. “He can handle it himself, right?” After all, he was raised by the System and leveled up to the point of gaining S-Rank. “There’s no need for me to join him.”

“You could see him in action.”

It was an enticing offer. You’ve only heard of Jinwoo’s powers and abilities, never did you see him fight or what he actually did during the Jeju Raid, since you were distraught about your friend’s death. You hummed and tapped your feet repeatedly, you want to go and don’t want to go. “Fine! Send me the location!”

Chuckles could be heard on the other side. “Haha, thank you for your work.”

Clearing a dungeon with a lack of teammates was nothing compared to what you usually do. You were the Association’s exclusive S-Rank Hunter, also known as The Underworld Assassin, due to your class and the fact that you do the Association’s dirty work. You were a feared Hunter unlike those that were treated as celebrities. 

While Jinwoo seemed to be stopped by an officer in charge of the gate, you came up behind her. “Hey, let him pass, he has permission from the Chairman.”

It was obvious that she flinched from your sudden appearance, “Huh?! Oh, yes! Please!”

“Let’s go.” You told Jinwoo without sparing him another glance. All the better if he didn’t follow behind you and you had to deal with this situation alone. Just ilke always.

To your surprise, he followed. The two of you eyed each other when you got a good look at your surrounding. No doubt thinking of the same thing. This was definitely a Red Gate. It felt like a scam and it is one.

“I can handle it on my own.” Jinwoo proudly stated while his Shadows appeared behind him.

“Yeah? Well, I was sent to clear this dungeon by the Chairman too.” You glared at him, taking out your weapons from your inventory. 

“You��ll be in my way. I have an army to help me.” Jinwoo gestured to his Shadows. 

“Relying on your soldiers to do your work?” You teased with a smirk. “Some Hunter you are. I can manage all on my own.”

In the end, admist your argument with Jinwoo on who would clear the dungeon, the two of you had already destroyed the surrounding forest, weaker monsters and boss while Jinwoo’s Shadows tried to calm the two of you down. The argument only ended when you accidentally slipped and fell through the reopened gate, while pulling Jinwoo with you of course. 

(It was Tusk that used his gravitational ability, Beru’s idea, and Igris’ agreement that made the two of you fall for each other. Literally.)

After your first raid with the Hunter, your System gave you stupid quests to meet with Jinwoo outside of work. Ridiculous missions like <Meet Your Partner!> or <Have A Meal> and Jinwoo got the same. The two of you worked out your little secret to growing strong. Turns out he was approached by Norma Selner as well, an offer to join their country’s ranks. Similarly, both of you declined. 

“You’re too slow.”

“You’re too stiff.”

“Your form is weird.”

“You’re not acting like a mage.”

“An assassin doesn’t use bow and arrow.”

“A mage doesn’t use daggers.”

“Want to get punched?”

“Want to get stabbed?”

It was decided that once in a while, S-Rank Hunters would gather at the training grounds to train together and even have mock battles. Whenever you and Jinwoo were in the same hall, the two of you would immediately get into a spat then a mock battle. Because the two of you had the System and quicker recovery, you two would let loose. No unique skills and back-up (Jinwoo’s Shadows), just pure physical talent. Which always result in childish bantering back and forth between blows. 

Your mock battles with Jinwoo always have to be timed else it could and would go on for hours. Cha Hae-In would rush to drag you away while Jinwoo had to be held off by Baek Yoonho and Ma Dongwook. Then the two of you would be sitting in the dialogically opposite spot glaring at each other, even resulting to making weird faces and hand gestures. The other Hunters could only sigh, unable to bear with the consequence if they stepped between you two.

Look at his silly face… Definitely not a better S-Rank Hunter than me. You looked away while drinking your water for a moment. But his speed is impressive… It’s been a while since I could let loose.

Being feisty again. Isn’t an assassin purposed to be quick with their target? Jinwoo would sneak glances at you while Hae-In requested to train with you and compete with a mock battle. Holding back? Guess mock battles with me is more fun. Ah, that form really brings out all the right qualities…

“They’re at it again.” Woo Jinchul sighed, calculating the damage cost that was done during the mock battle you had with Jinwoo. 

“Young love is wonderful isn’t it?” Chairman Go Gunhee chuckled, watching the two of you look at each other when the other’s attention was elsewhere. Of course, noticing the facial expression change and the faint blush on your faces. 

Jinchul groaned at the numbers, “We might as well have an entire island as their battle grounds.”

“That would give them the privacy needed.”

“Yes, that would help with the cost—” Jinchul did a double take to what the Chairman said, “Pardon sir?”

Gunhee only smiled and turned to his trusted aid, “If the two most powerful Hunters in our country were officially a couple, don’t you think they’d be a power couple?”

“...I suppose…”

Note: Yay! This is my first request for Solo Leveling! Hope it's done as you expected or wanted, Anon! Feels like everything's all over the place, but it's what it is. Enjoy!

Circe Y.

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (none)

[seat-safety-switch]

As you may be aware by now, I have a sort of disorder. This problem manifests primarily by getting bored with anything I'm doing, and then abandoning it in favour of making a gasoline-powered death machine in the garage. It's been an awkward problem in the past, because society simply does not acknowledge "fuck this dull shit" as being an actual disability, because of the toxic influence of Big Boring. Weddings, trips to the aquarium, birthday parties, arrests, and funerals have all been ruined by this impulse.

Lots of psychiatrists have thought that this may lie at the root of my anti-social behaviour. I drove through that shopping mall simply because I wanted to get back to wrenching, they think. That's a facile and, dare I say, convenient excuse for my actions. Makes me really wonder if the court is getting decent value out of ordering the appointment of these lazy simpletons.

In actual fact, driving through a shopping mall using a heavily-modified dune buggy requires intense focus and concentration. It was also not in any way "boring," which you can easily verify for yourself with a nearby commerce centre and any motorized vehicle. If I wanted to work on one of my shitboxes at the mall, I would simply do so in the parking lot like I usually do, pouring the waste oil and coolant into the decorative fountain inside the Abercrombie and/or Fitch.

That said, their strident denials of responsibility for my own actions have been very convenient. At the last session, they gave me a little card that I can flash, explaining to regular people that I have a problem and they should be nice to me. Then I can just walk away from an awkward social situation, and get started replacing a control arm or whatever the problem is this week. Believe you me, I busted that mother out immediately during the trial, and even the judge was a little bit jealous that I was getting out of that dull shit.

[jt1674]

[minyard-05]

twinyards timeline but its correct this time

i reworked my original timeline because something was bugging me about it and now it SHOULD be correct

NOTE: some of these dates are approximated from generalizations made in the book– for example, nicky says andrew's letter to aaron arrives two weeks after cass calls tilda. i assume this is an general use of 'two weeks', but i've taken it literally as 14 days, which is why the letter is dated to arrive november 29th. approximated/assumed dates are marked with a *

november 4th, 1986: aaron michael and andrew joseph minyard are born to tilda minyard in san jose, california

november 7th¹*, 1986: tilda gives the twins away to foster care

november 14th*, 1986: tilda returns to the hospital and takes aaron home with her, leaving andrew behind.

november 4th, 1999: aaron and andrew turn 13 years old. aaron lives in san jose with his mother, and andrew lives in oakland with his foster parents cass and richard spear. they are unaware of each other

november 14th², 1999: oakland raiders vs san diego chargers football game at ring central stadium in oakland. aaron and tilda go with one of tilda's boyfriends, and whilst there, aaron is mistaken for andrew by officer phil higgins, who takes tilda's contact information to pass onto andrew's foster mother, hoping to reunite the brothers

november 15th, 1999: cass spear calls tilda to arrange a meet up for aaron and andrew, but tilda refuses, telling cass she wants nothing to do with andrew and to not call her again. aaron hears all of this by listening in on the upstairs phone line, and he and tilda argue.

november 29th* 1999: aaron recieves a letter from andrew that basically says "fuck you, go away."

december 1999: cass writes aaron a letter asking him to try contacting andrew again in the spring, and that holidays are a difficult time at their house

march 2000: andrew goes to juvie for an unspecified offense

may 2000: tilda and aaron move to columbia, south carolina, and aaron meets his cousin nicky hemmick for presumably the first time.

*unspecified time in early-ish 2001³: luther hemmick finds out about andrew and begins a 'years-long' campaign to reunite him with tilda and aaron. i am choosing to place this around april 2001

six months later, approx. october 2001: luther flies to california to meet andrew and his foster family

one month later, november 2001: aaron flies out to 'meet' andrew for the first time at juvie. they have probably just turned 15

march⁴ 2003: andrew makes early parole and is released from juvie. luther makes tilda take him home, and then aaron, andrew, and tilda, finally all live together in columbia

→ sidebar: on the second night living there, andrew makes his deal with aaron

august 2003: aaron and andrew start their junior years at macon high school, andrew's first outside of juvie

early september 2003⁵: tilda mistakes andrew for aaron and hits him. andrew goes to the hemmicks' who call tilda and she takes him home. aaron is actually at a study group standing in for his brother, and on the drive back, andrew orchestrates the car crash that kills his mother

→ nicky hemmick moves back from germany on the day of tilda's funeral, presumably about a week after the crash. he gets a job at sweetie's diner to provide for the twins, eventually becoming their legal guardian⁶

→ not long after, andrew locks aaron in the bathroom to get him clean from the drugs tilda got him addicted to

october* 2003: nicky and the twins start working at eden's twilight

november 4th, 2003: the twins turn 17, their first birthday together

december 2003: nicky is attacked by four homophobes outside eden's. andrew saves him, almost killing the men in the process, and he is arrested

may⁷ 2004: andrew, 17, finishing his junior year of high school, is put on trial for what he did and sentenced. his parole agreement includes court-mandated therapy and mood altering drugs that he is scheduled to be on for 3 years

august 2004: andrew and aaron begin their senior year at macon high school

february⁸ 2005: kevin day and riko moriyama offer andrew a contract to play with the edgar allan ravens, which he refuses. kevin and riko travel to south carolina to find out why, where andrew refuses again and he and aaron play a scrimmage with kevin on the court

march 2005: david wymack meets with the twins and nicky at subway, and gives the three of them contracts to sign with the palmetto state foxes, which they do

june 2005: aaron, andrew, and nicky finally join the lineup for the PSU foxes

---

notes/citations under the cut

1) guesstimate based on when i think it's legal to give children to foster care. i assume its not that long after birth, and i believe the twins had to spend time in the ICU beforehand as well. the 14th is an approximation based on the fact that nicky says tilda went back for aaron after a week

2) raiders v chargers was an actual football game that took place in oakland 10 days after aaron's 13th birthday and therefore works out perfectly for the timeline thank youu nora

3) nicky says this in the start of the raven king, october 2006:

4) he went to juvie in march 2000 so i'm assuming his 3 year sentence just works out linearly like that

5) approximated from being about 5 months after andrew moves to columbia

6) while he DOES do this it's probably a very long process so i assume its ongoing as other events in the timeline happen

7) this is just me counting backwards because andrew is SUPPOSED to come off his drugs in may 2007 (obviously he doesn't) and so once again i assume the 3 year time period is linear or nothing else works

8) i'm saying february for this for two reasons: 1) i'm completely guessing when college teams recruit athletes 2) in the EC aaron describes the drive home as being darker earlier in the evening, so late winter feels about right

[shanieveh]

“ forget me not... ”

synopsis: neuvillette, too late to confess his love to you, is drowning from the suffering and regret that came along with it, especially after knowing that you felt the same all along.

tags: gn!reader x neuvillette, depression and low self-esteem, bittersweet ending, mentions of freminet, lynette and melusines, heavily implied reader death and neuvillette also kinda wanting to die

a/n: people want this and i have came to deliver (hopefully) enjoy~ this is my first long fic that i published

How can this be….?

Neuvillette sat in the corner of his office, all your letters in his right hand. How can you say you loved him… how dare you describe the love, the passion, everything you felt for him when he can't even say it back.

How can you love someone so unlovable?

His silent cries can't match up to the violent outbursts of the skies outside. Days went by when he first found out, the melusines were scared to death about who would report it to him. The way you dissolved into water, not even seeing you for the last time—not having the privilege to have a proper funeral.

He failed you… the monsieur wasn't too sure on many things but this one was certain.

Reading your diaries, knowing your thoughts and hopes for the future. It was an invasion of privacy but also in a way… the last remnants of your existence. One such entry was that of three years ago where you first met.

Encountering this, a profuse blush colored his face. The adjectives being used "handsome", "tall" and "kind" for your first meetingwith the chief justice. Far from the truth really, although Neuvillette knew you meant every word.

You always did.

You always were an honest person.

The very first day his lavender eyes met yours, to the very last. There was never a trace of impurity or a hint of a liar. Of course, the verdict went in your favor, because to him a precious rose like you can never steal and the plaintiffs were wrong.

Reading it now, not even a slightly negative comment was made to those who wrongly accused you.

"Maybe they had their reasons, after all, I was also in need of money at that time." you wrote. Adding on that you defended the "Monsieur Neuvillette" when people called "such a man of honor and kindness" a "merciless and arrogant man".

A man of honor and kindness? Your words became running thoughts in the hydro dragon's head. That day was one of the only days he didn't cry after a trial. Neuvillette was just happy that such a person of integrity was cleared of their name.

He turned through the pages of the diary, how you taught him to socialize and even mend his relationship with the hydro archon.

"Monsieur Neuvillette was too adorable! Being with a person of lowly status and treating me with such respect and humility, he truly is the epitome of mercy and loveliness."

How can you be so blind? Anyone with eyes will know that it's a privilege to be with someone so beautiful, especially to be with someone like Neuvillette. A cold and repulsive soul. You make him sound like a good person, when in fact he isn't both good and human.

He was a monster… these words of humanity you always used to describe a monster. Why do they sound so genuine? Why do they look so real? Maybe only you can make him like that, you and only you.

A few pages later he finally saw the words…

Words that should've made him scream in euphoria… tore him to a million pieces. Because even before this he already loved you… because you had so much time to confess but never did… and never will.

"I think I'm in love with the chief Justice."

And after that, he couldn't even get himself to read, he couldn't. His eyes got so blurry to see, his heart became too heavy to feel. Why were you… why you? In a world filled with monsters, they chose an angel. They chose a soul that still wanted to live, love and give. Those demons… despicable.

Remembering his shortcomings, maybe in some way he could've avoided all of this. Neuvillette shouldn't have given you his blessing to investigate the serial disappearance case.

But that glint of adventure in your eyes… he was too soft to reject you.

It was all his fault.

Wiping his tears he looked at the last entry of the diary… Oh.

Oh.

"After this investigation, I'll finally confess to him… I surely hope Neuvillette feels the same way, I even planted some forget-me-nots to give him in the backyard so that he'll know when it rains and he weeps. I will always be here."

The chief justice didn't know what was coming to him but he started running… and only then can he see the state of Fontaine. Many flowers have wilted and only a few people were outside. What had he become..?

"What's up with this weather? It isn't even the rainy season yet?!" A shop owner complained.

"I know! My crops have been drowning these days, at this rate if it doesn't stop we'll have a famine!"

It was all his fault, his running turned to a slow walk taking in all that he had done. This was all because of him. The lonely streets, the lowered morale. This was all because—

"Hydro dragon, hydro dragon, please don't cry!"

He turned to the voice and saw a young boy in the distance. Neuvillette remembered now, his name was Freminet. That child on which you doted extremely, giving him sweets and hushing his tears. The chief justice quickly let go of his gaze and continued to walk.

"You see Freminet, it didn't work... let's go inside."

The response was that of a stoic young woman, but he just continued his legs even if they wanted to rest all to see the last thing you cared for… those flowers. And when he finally was at the destination he saw it immediately outside.

It was in the bushes, he couldn't miss it. Every corner of your house was haunted, every tiny thing was a memory. The chairs you painted, the drawings pinned in the cabinet of you and him with the melusines. It was precious. All of it. Just as you are.

He finally saw them, most were almost to bloom and some were wilted. Picking one he unconsciously kissed it, perhaps mistaking it for you. These flowers were made to remind him he was never alone, but now he is.

More alone than he can ever be in one lifetime. Your scent still filled every corner, a remembrance of the biggest "what if" in his life. Your will stated that every single thing of yours is his just as you were always his. Bittersweet was he when reading it.

Neuvillete forgot that too included your house, maybe he was too consumed with your thoughts to visit this place. He was twisting the poor flower that looked so tiny compared to his hand. Perhaps that's what it's like to be with him. It's a curse…

He continues to caress the flowers, to treat them as if they were you. You were wrong on one thing about this, even if there were no flowers he will never forget you. Never, no way! The love he has for you can destroy nations and can cause millions of sacrifices. Just to keep you, to see your smile again.

But he can't even do that, you didn't give him the privilege to do something for you. If only he knew, he would've… done everything for you. The love that can create the strongest of floods failed to protect the one person he was supposed to protect.

At that moment, he felt the waters, the ocean, his home… you. It made his crying bearable, somewhat. Grief that could surpass a lifetime, wasn't enough. Nothing he can do will ever be enough to have you again. Perhaps he should also leave this world to stop being a burden to the people… and maybe to see you again.

"Neuvillette…"

Now he was even imagining your voice, or was he? Maybe he was delusional but he still followed your voice even if it took him to an unknown path. But the end was in a small pond, where you used to keep the fish, all of which were alive and well.

"Neuvillette…?"

At this he didn't even care if was going insane, your voice sounded like a melody even if it uttered his name. It sounded like a rare jewel, a myth, a prophecy too good to be true.

"Darling?" He replied in a hopeful tone. He looked through his surroundings, no longer was he in a pond but a terrain of boundless water. In the middle was a flying Oceanid, a spirit. Was it—could it be?

"Even I could feel the heavy pouring of rain, monsieur… don't be sad."

It was indeed your spirit, a part of you that remained before that bastard—he'll make whoever did this pay. It wasn't for justice anymore, this one is for revenge.

"How can I not? When I have failed you over and over again, I couldn't even get to say…"

"That you love me?"

His eyes widened, looking at you. Even if it didn't look like you, he knew… he always did. A nod soon followed after that, it was barely noticeable even at this rate the chief justice was a bit shy saying it.

"I just don't know why you could ever say you love me, how you could even think of me so kindly. Why? How? How can you love me back?" He was clueless to what you mean.

"How can I not?"

The reply you uttered was one of a teary-eyed person. Even to this moment you still haven't accepted you had died, not when he was still alone needing you.

"Just as you said… how can I not? You out of all people my dear… know of the sacrifices we make for the person we love."

It was that moment where you took your normal form, you looked beautiful as the day he lost you. As beautiful as the day you met. And as you walked towards him, the clock ticking until your final goodbye, it was time.

"I love you Neuvillette, i always had and continue to do so." For the last time, you cupped his cheek and kissed him.

"I love you, darling from the very beginning and every single lifetime to come." He let go of the kiss and hugged you tight, closing his eyes, until you disappeared not knowing he was hugging his own.

Opening his eyes, the rain was long gone, and what remained were the flowers in the bushes, the ponds, the fish, and him. Maybe… just maybe he will bring you and the other victims to light.

Until then, this one last encounter and goodbye will make him content. He was sure… that finally his love will be at rest.

[manitat]

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Hard On For Love